As a lawyer maintains attorney client privilege, you possess a certain parent child privilege. As the parent of your child, you maintain the ability to tell them information on a need to know basis. A parent does not have to disclose the failures of their youth with their children, however there is great value in sharing stories of your youth with your children. A heartfelt story will go a long way in developing trust and opening the lines of communication. Always, select your stories based on the maturity level of your child. Share only what you are comfortable sharing, but above all be appreciative of their questions and edify them for coming to you with their concerns.

If I tell you not to do what I am doing, I am a hypocrite. If I tell you not to do what I have done, I am a teacher. This is a teachable moment for you as a parent. If your teen was born out of wedlock, this does not mean that the message of saving sex for marriage has lost its value. In fact, your situation could enable the "saved sex" message to be even more meaningful and powerful. When your child is ready, it is important to talk about what happened surrounding their birth so that they realize that children are the fruit of marriage. Impress upon your child that he or she was not a mistake! Children are always a blessing no matter the circumstances of their birth.

It is better that you find it than have him use it! However, before you jump to conclusions about his/her sexual behavior, do some thinking on your own. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for teenagers to receive condoms at their school. Is your son/daughter dating anyone? If so, then you may have reason to suspect that he is sexually active with his girlfriend. The only way you will know is to have a discussion with him/her. Tell them calmly what you discovered in his drawer and then let him respond. It is essential that you listen to him and provide the opportunity for an explanation. Any chance of an honest discussion will be lost if you make presumptions and throttle him/her right away.

No one knows your child like you therefore trust your instincts on this one. This being said, you must remember that your child has many influences in their life other than you. Everyday, your child is exposed to many settings that are contrary to the safe environment which you have carefully built around them. If you fail to provide your child with the correct information on the topic of sex, they will get the information from one or all of the following: television, movies, music lyrics, internet, video games and of course their just as confused friends. Wouldn't you prefer they get the information from someone who loves them as much as you. When speaking to your child about sex, always use terminology that is age-appropriate.

Who loves your teen the most, yet speaks to him or her least about sex? You! Who loves your teen the least, yet speaks to him or her most about sex? The media! The ability of the media to influence behavior is creating a huge problem in our culture today and teenagers are paying the highest price. An MTV producer was recently asked: What do teens want? The response: They don't know what they want; we tell them what they want. This reckless attitude demonstrates not only the lack of concern that the media has for teenagers, but also gives insight into how vulnerable they really are. The solution: the best defense is a good offense. Teach your teen the truth about sex: sex is reserved for marriage, nothing else. Use the media's lies to be a springboard for conversation with your teen about sex and reclaim your kids!

Parents, you can opt your child out of the class! Also, you have a right to demand from the school that your teen receive the best information about their sexuality: abstinence only. The "safe sex" message is a lie. The only "safe" sex is the kind that is "saved" for marriage. Teenagers want to be encouraged to practice abstinence and are confident they can do so. 88% of teens say they can postpone sexual involvement if they have the support systems of parents in place. The majority of parents (85%) want their teens taught that having sex prior to marriage is going to hinder their ability to maintain a long-term, healthy, marital relationship. Be confident! You as a parent can make a difference!

Not all peer pressure is bad! There is negative and positive peer pressure. Negative peer pressure is always a concern and often can be out of your control. Trust that you have provided your children with a foundation grounded in the truth about the goodness of their bodies and its purpose sexually. When at all possible, use positive peer pressure to reinforce your teachings as a parent. Be familiar with whom the young people your child is associating and guide them when possible in forming friendships with peers of strong character. Teenagers are very impressionable and often will model the behavior of their closest friends. Friends who will apply positive pressure are those that demonstrate the values you are hoping to instill in your child.

Absolutely! Parents are the primary educators and it is essential to know whether the parents of your teen's friends think like you. Perhaps these parents allow their teen to do what you forbid e.g. use bad language, watch R rated movies, play violent video games, and listen to music with explicit language. Any environment which compromises or threatens the values that are important to you as a parent should, to the best of your ability, be removed from your teen's life. Do not get neurotic about this as you cannot possibly expect to control every negative influence that comes into a teen's life, but among those which you can control, you should attempt to do so. Yes, your teen will fight you on this, but remember you are their parent, not their friend. You know more than they do and as your teen grows to maturity, they will one day be grateful.

If you have good reason to presume that your teenager is engaging in sexual activity then it is imperative that you act on this suspicion. You must calmly approach your teenager in an effort to create a dialogue about sex. This should not be a problem if you have good communication developed with your teen. But if trust has not been built between you and your teen, you must begin here first. Do not expect teenagers to be honest with you if they cannot trust you. Building trust takes time and it will demand that you take an interest in your teen and learn their concerns, worries and fears. Get to KNOW your teen and what they like to do and you will no longer have to presume anything about their behavior because you will have built a relationship with them. You will know their activities and friends and above all, you will know they trust you.

Many parents are afraid to talk to their teenager about sex. Most would rather ignore the issue than deal with it. This is an issue that cannot be avoided because the stakes are too high! Your teenager has relied on you to teach them the truth about life's issues in the past, why should sex be any different? Failing to speak about sex with your teen will encourage them to seek the information elsewhere. This is an-all-too-scary-alternative! Speaking to your teenager about sex does not have to be confrontational. Rest assured they are interested in the topic! Capitalize on their interest and be confident in your ability to communicate with your child. Apply these same principles and let them contribute as much as possible. Begin by asking them to tell you what they know about sex and watch as they squirm for a little while. Praise them for whatever they say and gently guide their limited understanding of sex to a more complete understanding. Use their words so they can assimilate what you are saying and make it their own. Remember this does not have to be a painful experience for you both, but an opportunity to build up your parent-teen relationship.

The "safest sex" is sex saved for marriage. Sex outside of marriage is never safe and never without consequences e.g. crisis pregnancy, abortion, STD infection which could lead to a premature death, and broken heart syndrome. Tell your child that saving themselves for marriage is the best choice for them. It will give them romance without regret, awesome friendships, true freedom in their young life and a great marriage one day. A recent study revealed that those who are sexually active before marriage are 71% more likely to divorce than those who are virgins until their wedding night.

Yes, there are many good resources to use in this process. Speak to your teenager on a very simple level. Teenagers like things simple. If you try to approach them on the issue of sex from a book, which may or may not agree with your parenting style, then you may be doing more harm than good. Trust yourself and your ability to talk with your teen. But for those who want to read up first, here are a few reading suggestions. Any book by Dr. James C. Dobson, but you could start with these three: Preparing for Adolescence, Bringing Up Boys, and Parenting Isn't for Cowards. Another great book is Saved Sex by Molly Kelly, chastity educator and mother of eight (5 boys and 3 girls).

Breaking the ice is a challenge for all parents, but there are many ways which it can be done. Begin with the most obvious, the media. Whenever sex outside of marriage is presented on television, which will not be hard to find, use this as your ice breaker. Ask your child what they think about it. Get them talking first and build off of their input. Another way that you can engage your child is by bringing them to a presentation on the issue of sex. Many schools and churches bring in outside speakers to speak to both parents and teens on the topic of saving sex for marriage. This is an excellent way to trigger some good discussion with your teen.

This is a fear of almost every parent and most think it will never happen to their kids. Yes, this is tough to swallow if it happens to your family, but you must be positive. Pregnancy is not a disease and there is much help available for teen parents. Adoption is a healthy and loving option for your teen. Abortion is never a healthy alternative or solution to a crisis pregnancy. A study found that women who have an abortion have a tendency toward the following psychological symptoms: flashbacks (63%), suicide attempts (28%), loss of self-confidence and self-esteem (82%), eating disorders (39%), illegal drug use (41%). These disorders constitute Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS). Tell her you love her and will support her through the pregnancy. Although you may be disappointed, remember there is a life growing inside of her. This is cause for great joy no matter if you are considering adoption or parenting. A teen pregnancy is difficult indeed, but there are many crisis pregnancy centers that can walk you through all of your options. To locate your nearest crisis pregnancy center log onto www.pregnancycenters.org or call 800-395-HELP.